Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Teen Mom Season 3 Episode 2 Recap

First off, can we all agree that Catelynn is the worst narrator on the show? I'm tired of hearing her yelling at me via narration. Also, 400/month for an apartment? I don't particularly want to live anywhere where teen pregnancy is totally fine and no big deal, but for 400 a month, I'd certainly consider it. And oh look, Farrah's baby is asleep while Farrah stares at pictures of herself. I feel like she's taking lessons from the Casey Anthony school of mothering.

Somebody check those throw pillows for chloroform please.

Too soon?

Also, is it me or is the doctor totally creepy? Maybe it's the mustache or the fact that he's very excited that she's pleased with her new boobs, but either way, gross. Maci apparently isn't working and living on her own near her frankenboyfriend, which is another great example from MTV of teens not having to have any money to raise babies.

And oh my god I was going to go a whole recap without mentioning Gary but Gary's fat ass broke a step in their new house. Don't get me started on how ridiculous it is that these monsters have their own home, but if they had to have a house, I'm glad they are immediately too fat for it.

Anyway, moving along, Maci breaks the news to Frankenboyfriend that they want to move away but that made Frankenboyfriend saaad so now they're moving in with him? Or something? I again yearn for a simpler time when I thought that getting pregnant at 16 would be the worst decision these girls would make. And oohhh speaking of good choices, Farrah is getting her culinary degree and also modeling in hair shows! Although to be fair, I'm pretty sure hair shows are the only place Teen Moms with breast implants are, in fact, considered models.

Back to Maci (this show is so fast paced I can't stand it!) - Tyler breaks the news to his family that they're moving in together and they're white trash so they're pretty mad. His sister, Amber, is trying to be the voice of reason and talk him out of it but her name's Amber so no one listens to anything she says. Catelynn and Tyler are the most reasonable people in this room and I am again sad for whatever town they live in.

Oh my god back to Maci ACTUAL QUOTE to her mom: "When I start making bad decisions, then y'all can get mad at me." I...I can't even. Anyway, everyone is moving everywhere and Farrah is hair modeling and talking about being a mom while having some of the worst hair I've ever seen ever. Also, again, I dont want to comment on the porcine Amber and Gary but MTV showed them at a water park and I am now rendered asexual. Also, I'm pretty sure the way they shoved their baby down the slide is actually child abuse.

Waterparks, the perfect place to dispose of a body.

Anyway, Farrah is a hair model but misses her baby or something and Maci has to tell my favorite person on earth, Ryan, she's moving. Who immediately looks at the baby and goes "Your mommy is a liar." Oh, Ryan. Never change. Tyler and Maci move in together, I think Maci moves in with Frankenboyfriend, Amber and Gary continue to disgust me on sight, and Farrah is a hair model and a terrible human being. 

[Written by Carrie, photos and captions by Clinto]


  1. please keep doing these recaps, HIGH-LARIOUS.
    casey anthony reference, nice touch

  2. Lol, I really enjoy watching TEEN MOM, season 3. I can't get enough of MTV. Good thing I subscribe to DISH Network because I get to watch all the drama go down in HD. As a DISH employee I can tell you that DISH even allows you to watch all your channels you get at home, on-the-go. Go to


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